Some people struggle with The Clairvoyant Test. They have a hard time grasping the rules: the clairvoyant can observe anything but cannot make judgments, read minds or extrapolate. It’s no wonder they have a hard time; our cultural view of clairvoyants is shaped by the fake ones we see on TV. For example, Miss Cleo, John Edward, and Tyler “The Hollywood Medium” Henry often do make personal judgments and express opinions about future events. Almost every clairvoyant we see in movies and TV can read minds. I think people get stuck on this, and often will declare metrics or measurements as incorrectly passing The Clairvoyant Test due to the cultural perception that clairvoyants know everything.

There’s an apocryphal business quote from Drucker, Demmings, or maybe even Lord Kelvin that goes something like this: “You can’t manage what you don’t measure.” I’ll add that you can’t measure what you don’t clearly define.

Clearly defining the object of measurement is where many security metrics fail. I’ve found one small trick borrowed from the field of Decision Science that helps in the creation and validation of clear, unambiguous, and succinct metrics. It’s called The Clairvoyant Test, and it’s a 30-second thought exercise that makes the whole process quick and easy.

In this post, I’m going to cover two kinds of shit. The first kind is feces on the streets of San Francisco that I’m sure everyone knows about due to abundant news coverage. The second kind is bullshit; specifically, the kind found in faulty data gathering, analysis, hypothesis testing, and reporting.

It’s the end of the year and that means two things: the year will be declared the “Year of the Data Breach” again (or equivalent hyperbolic headline) and <drumroll> Cyber Predictions! I react to yearly predictions with equal parts of groan and entertainment. They’re written so generically that they could hardly be considered predictions at all. 

I’ve gathered decades of empirical evidence on how to cook a turkey from my own attempts and from observing my mother and grandmother. I treat cooking turkey like a critical project, with risk factors, mitigants and - of course - metrics. Metrics are essential to me because I can measure the success of my current cooking effort and improve year over year.